Chapter 21: Northern Beggar
Although the gods in heaven have achieved success in cultivation, practiced qigong and fasting, and do not feel hungry, they still want to eat something delicious occasionally. At this time, they will find the only chef in heaven, the famous God of Food, to make some delicious dishes for them. The God of Food’s cooking skills are recognized by all other gods. When they want to eat delicious food, they will prepare gifts and visit him. As a chef, the God of Food is often proud of this. He always thinks that the dishes he makes are undoubtedly the most delicious dishes in the world.

Until one day, Kuimu Lang, one of the twenty-eight constellations, returned to heaven after passing the tribulation. The other constellations arranged a banquet for him at the God of Food to welcome him back. Everyone ate enthusiastically, but Kuimu Lang looked at the table of delicious food and was indifferent. He even said, “There is no delicious food in heaven. It is far worse than the mortal world!”

The God of Cookery was furious when he heard this! He pointed at Kuimu Lang and said, “How dare you say that the food I cook is not delicious?”

Kuimulang said: “I am just telling the truth! This kind of thing can’t really be called delicious.”

“Just wait, I’m going to make you a plate of my specialty, stir-fried dragon liver, so you can experience what the world’s best delicacy is!”

This was the first time that the God of Cookery met someone who did not recognize his abilities since he came to heaven. His competitive spirit was immediately aroused, and he turned and went into the kitchen, threatening to conquer Kuimulang’s tricky tongue.

The God of Cookery used his knife skills to slice a dragon liver into thin slices and threw them into the pot. He lit a high fire and started to stir the pot. After a while, a dish of fragrant dragon liver was ready. The gods tasted it and praised it as delicious. Kuimu Lang also picked up a piece of dragon liver and put it in his mouth. He chewed it carefully for a while and said, “It’s just average, not delicious.”

“Just wait, I’ll take out the stewed phoenix marrow and show it to you!”

The God of Food turned around and went back into the kitchen, cleaned the phoenix marrow, put it in a casserole and simmered it over low heat. After a while, a beautiful aroma wafted out from the kitchen. The gods outside could not help but drool when they smelled it. The God of Food divided the phoenix marrow soup into small bowls and placed them in front of the gods. The gods wolfed it down in one gulp. Kui Mulang also picked up the bowl and tasted it carefully, then said, “It’s a little better than dragon liver, but it’s really not delicious!”

Upon hearing this, the God of Food snorted coldly, “Everyone knows that dragon liver and phoenix marrow are the best delicacies in the world. In addition, this god uses a unique secret method to prepare it. Even if the Jade Emperor and the Queen Mother eat it, they will say it is ‘absolutely delicious’! How dare you say that it is not delicious? I think you are just talking nonsense! You are just trying to get food and drink for free!”

Kuimu Lang said: “I am just telling the truth. I have indeed eaten things that are more delicious than these. You have not tried them, so you naturally don’t know.”

The God of Food said, “Then tell me, what is more delicious than the dragon liver and phoenix marrow I made? If you have the guts, let me taste it myself. If it is really as delicious as you said, I will obey you no matter what you say. But if it is not as you said, you will have to come here to do chores for me, such as making fire and cutting vegetables. How about that? Do you dare?”

“What am I afraid of? Do you really want to gamble?”

“With all the stars here as witnesses, I must make a bet with you to see who wins or loses!” The God of Food held a spatula, pointed at Kuimu Lang angrily, and pulled other star officials to testify for him, fearing that Kuimu Lang would go back on his word.

“Okay, in that case, I can help you eat the most delicious thing in the world. But that thing doesn’t exist in heaven, only in the mortal world. If you want to eat it, you have to listen to me. I can help you go down to the mortal world.”

The God of Wealth said, “Okay, I want to see what good things there are in the lower world that are more delicious than those in heaven.”

Kuimu Lang brought the God of Food to the outside of the South Heaven Gate, stretched out his hand and pointed downwards, saying: “Look over there!”

The God of Food looked down along the direction where Kuimulang’s finger pointed, but suddenly felt a huge force coming from behind. His fat body rolled down from the clouds outside the Nantian Gate, and he screamed, “You are so good, Kuimulang! How dare you plot against me!”

After the god of food fell from heaven, he lost all his magic power. When he woke up, he found himself in a deserted forest. He could only break off a branch as a crutch and step by step to find a way out of the mountain. Unfortunately, he was unlucky and met a ferocious wild boar. The wild boar chased him until he was exhausted. He finally hid in a big tree and escaped. Unfortunately, the weather was not good. It suddenly rained heavily, soaking the unlucky guy.

At this moment, the mortal God of Food’s stomach finally growled. As a former god, he had long forgotten what it felt like to be hungry, but that feeling was slowly returning to his body. The God of Food touched his stomach in confusion and said to himself, “What’s going on? My stomach seems to be a little uncomfortable…”

The God of Food wandered in the barren mountains and forests for three days and three nights, and finally arrived at a small town at the foot of the mountain on the morning of the fourth day. At this time, he was already disheveled, ragged, hungry, and much thinner, looking like a beggar. He finally realized that he was hungry and had to eat!

There were quite a few snack shops and restaurants in the town, and it was very lively with people coming and going, and the aroma of various foods filled the air. But he was penniless now, so he had no choice but to follow the smell to the bun stall and said to the owner, “Shopkeeper, please be kind, I haven’t eaten for three days, can you give me a few buns?”

“Go away! Go away, you stinky beggar, don’t disturb my business!” The shop owner looked at the God of Food with disgust, and had no intention of giving him food.

The God of Cookery could only plead again: “Please be kind and give me one!” The shopkeeper said: “I don’t have any. If you don’t leave, I won’t be polite.” As he said that, he picked up the rolling pin and pretended to hit him.

The God of Food had no choice but to leave in anger. He was already so hungry that he was dizzy and had no strength to walk anymore. He had to find a small temple to sit and rest, mumbling and cursing: “You Kuimu Wolf! You framed me! You despicable villain…”

At some point, Kuimu Lang appeared beside him and put the bun in front of the nostrils of the already dazed God of Food. The God of Food smelled the fragrance of the bun, like a vicious dog suddenly awakened from a deep sleep, snatched the bun from Kuimu Lang’s hand, and ate it in big mouthfuls, with tears flowing from his eyes, crying and mumbling: “It’s so delicious! What the hell is this, it’s so delicious.”

“I wonder how it compares to dragon liver and phoenix marrow?” Kuimulang joked with a smile.

“Dragon liver and phoenix marrow, how can they be compared with this thing, it’s simply…” Ugh! The God of Food finally came to his senses and looked up. Isn’t this Kuimu Wolf? He cursed angrily: “Why did you frame me?”

Kuimulang spread his hands and said helplessly, “You were the one who insisted on making a bet with me. You said that you didn’t believe that things in the mortal world were tastier than those in heaven, and you had to eat them yourself to believe it. How could it be that I harmed you? Now you said that dragon liver and phoenix marrow can’t be compared with the buns in the mortal world. Didn’t I let you taste the most delicious thing in the world?”

The God of Cookery was speechless, but he said to Kuimu Lang, “Are there any more buns?”

Kuimu Lang handed the bag of buns to the God of Food, who immediately took them and devoured them. After finishing the bag of buns, he was still not satisfied and licked his lips and said, “It’s so delicious, it’s really the most delicious thing in the world! Now I understand why you said that the real delicious things can only be found in the mortal world! It turns out that only mortals can feel hungry, and only when they are extremely hungry can they taste the real deliciousness!”

Kuimu Lang said, “That’s right! The gods in heaven have all cultivated themselves to not eat grains. No matter how much time has passed, they will not feel hungry. Even if they eat the best food, they will not taste the real deliciousness.”

“Alas, now I realize how pitiful my past self was! I could never experience the real delicacies of the world. I have decided that, in order to taste the real delicacies of the world again, I will not return to heaven. I will stay in the mortal world and be a beggar!” The God of Food said with a smile, stroking his bulging belly.

Kuimulang returned to heaven alone. When the star officials saw him, they all asked him where the God of Food had gone.

Kuimu Lang replied: “He is not going back to heaven, but staying in the mortal world as a beggar.”

Upon hearing this, all the star officials looked at each other in bewilderment. They all advised: “I say you, even though you won the bet, you can’t let him become a beggar, that’s too much!”

“That’s right! Although the God of Food said that as long as you win, he won’t say a word to you, but he is still the God of Food after all. How can he go to the mortal world and become a beggar?”

“That’s right! That’s right! Besides, now that the God of Cookery is gone, who are we going to find to cook for us?”

Kuimulang said innocently, “I didn’t ask him to be a beggar. He said he didn’t want to return to heaven. It’s fine for him to be a beggar in the mortal world.”

The star officials were even more confused when they heard this and asked, “Why did you give up being a good god and go to the mortal world? It would be fine if you stayed in the mortal world, but you have to be a beggar instead of doing anything else? What’s the logic behind this?”

Kuimulang said: “I don’t know what that guy is thinking. He said that only when you are extremely hungry can you taste the most delicious things. And only by being a beggar can you be in a state of extreme hunger all the time, so as long as you become a beggar, you can always eat the most delicious things in the world. Anyway, that’s what he said…”

All the star officials said, “Crazy! Crazy! Another crazy one! Things in heaven have been uneasy lately. Why do all these weird things keep happening?”

It is said that after the God of Food became a beggar in the mortal world, he somehow became obsessed with martial arts and became one of the top five masters in the world. When others asked him about his martial arts experience, he said: “Martial arts is extremely physically demanding, so you can make yourself hungry faster and eat more delicious food.” This made the younger generation of martial artists completely confused.

Later, I heard that he was elected as the leader of the Beggars’ Sect, but he was still not interested in other things. He just thought about what to eat all day long…

(End of this chapter)