Oh shit,

Mr. Shui taught you how to deal with others, but now you are all dealing with me.

A bunch of shit.

I also want to tell you something. If you see someone scolding me in the future, don’t fucking tag me.

I’m really fed up with you guys. You seem to have nothing to do every day. You tag me every day when others scold me.

You said you can just watch it yourself, why did you tag me?
I’ll be fucking upset after watching this, okay?

I would feel bad too.

My heart is made of flesh, too.
So I beg you, next time you see someone scolding me, don’t fucking tag me.
Damn it,
I beg you.”

. . . . . .

On the barrage

“The problem is that I don’t have the eloquence to curse, so I can only tag you to come over and curse together (laughing and crying).”

“Yes, if we had your eloquence, I would have just helped to curse (picking nose).”

“I’m different. I just can’t let you have an easy life. I do that on purpose (dog head).”

puff~
Hahahahahaha.

. . . . . .

Lin Feng: “Really, I beg you, please stop tagging me, I’m fed up.

If someone scolds me, you can scold him back or report him. You say you must tag me, but I can’t scold him just by looking at him, right?

You said that I am such a big blogger, I want to scold him, and someone took screenshots and spread them out, I am finished again, and I am attacked by public opinion again,
So if people scold me, just watch it for yourself.

You can even refute it for me, but please don’t tag me. I really beg you.”

. . . . . .

On the barrage

“Don’t say that. I’m rebellious. I want to tag him even more (covering my face and laughing).”

“I don’t have this habit, but I don’t know why after hearing you say that, I want to do something shameless (slightly).”

“It’s mainly because I see others scolding you, and I feel bad too, but I can’t scold them as badly as others, so I tag you and say that I feel bad and you shouldn’t feel good too (dog head).

Hahahaha.

“I’m such a big anchor, it seems that it’s the fans who limit your performance (covering your face and laughing).”

“As your fans, half of them are 6, and those who don’t tag you are not 6 (dog head).”

Hahahahaha.

. . . . . .

Oh shit,

A bunch of shit.

Not to say,
Next person.

Ding~
“Hey bro.”

She’s an elder sister.

Lin Feng: “What’s wrong, sister-in-law, is there any problem?”

Woman: “Brother, I want to consult if my child has any psychological problems.”

Lin Feng: “Tell me more about it.”

Woman: “Today when I was cleaning the room, I saw a lot of drawings in his drawer.

It’s all black, and it feels very dark and depressing.

I don’t understand it either, but I feel bad.
There is also a painting of a bottle with a skull on it.

I waited for him to come back from outside, and then I asked him what he was painting.

He said it was poison.
I asked you why you were drawing poison?
He said he wanted to drink poison and die.

I was terrified at the time.

The child is now asleep in the inner room.
I just wanted to come up and ask Big Brother if this kid has any mental problems. “

Lin Feng frowned slightly: “How old is the child?”

Woman: “I’m 14 years old and I’m in the second grade of junior high school.”

Raymond Lam: “Has the child shown any abnormal behavior recently? That is, rather unusual behavior.”

The woman thought for a moment and said, “My son doesn’t talk much to his father and grandparents anymore, but they used to have a good relationship.”

Lin Feng: “Since when did you stop talking?”

Woman: “About a year ago, probably in May of the previous year, on a Sunday,

It was not the holiday yet. The child may have listened to his grandmother’s nagging too much and felt very annoyed.

At that time, his grandmother also told me about this problem, saying that the child didn’t communicate with him much.
Whenever they talk, they start to argue with each other. Every time grandma says something, he will respond. It’s very intense.”

Lin Feng put out his cigarette and said seriously, “Then you also need to explain clearly what his grandmother was nagging him about at that time?”

Woman: “The content of her nagging is mainly about you not studying hard, you will have to suffer in the future, and how good it is for you to go to college. It’s mainly about these things.
He also said, “Look, your parents are so tired every day, working such long hours, and they don’t have many days off a year.
Because we are in the catering business, grandma would say, “Look, everyone is eating, let’s just watch,

Others sit, so we have to stand.

It’s probably this kind of

Maybe my son felt that he had heard it too much and he just felt uncomfortable.”

Lin Feng: “Nonsense, no one would feel comfortable listening to it every day.”

The woman laughed and said, “Anyway, he started to resist afterwards. His grandmother said something and he said something back. In the end, he became quiet.”

Lin Feng knocked on the table and interrupted the woman, “Sister-in-law, let me ask you one question, shouldn’t he resist?”

The woman was stunned.
I was speechless for a moment.

. . . . . .

On the barrage.

“Shouldn’t he resist? I’m crying my ass off.”

“It’s exactly like my home. It’s so suffocating (tears).”

“A 14-year-old boy secretly hides in his room to draw poison. How desperate he must be (woohoo).”

“I can’t breathe after listening to it (burst into tears).”

“This is why I would rather spend Chinese New Year in a rental than go home (crying to death).”

. . . . . .

Raymond Lam: “There are always parents who say their children talk back and are disobedient.

I tell you, sister-in-law, if this child had listened to his grandmother’s words and kept all his dissatisfaction in his heart, what you see today would not just be a painting.
Do you understand?
You should be glad that he talked back and fought back, and that he found an outlet to vent his emotions.

Otherwise, if you opened the door today, you would see someone lying there.

I have explained it so clearly, you won’t not understand, right?”

At this time, a male voice came from McCreary: “It’s not that serious, nonsense.”

Lin Feng frowned: “Okay, let’s not make assumptions about things that haven’t happened.
sister in law,

I ask you again,

From our conversation just now, I can hear that you tend to stand on the side of the elderly, right?

I think there is nothing wrong with what the old man did.”

Woman: “You can’t say there’s nothing wrong with it. Everyone has their own faults anyway.”

Lin Feng: “Okay, then tell me, what’s wrong with the child?”

Woman: “The first one is laziness. I don’t know how to clean up the dishes after eating. I always leave as soon as I finish eating.
Also, his academic performance is not very good, it can’t be not very good, he just doesn’t want to study,

I don’t know what happened, but when he was in the third grade, I took him over. I was probably too anxious, and he started to have convulsions.

It’s his eyes that keep blinking.

Later we went to the hospital for a checkup, and the doctor said it was just mental stress.”

Lin Feng shook his head: “Are you done?

Then listen to me.

What you call laziness, to put it bluntly, is bad personal living habits.

You said his academic performance is not good, and there may be a reason that he was stimulated when he was very young, which caused him to have certain physical reactions.

In other words, the health level of the body is not perfect.

So these two points are wrong from your perspective, right? “

Woman: “Yes.”

Lin Feng smiled: “Okay, I won’t judge right or wrong, let me ask you first, do you want a relatively normal child in the future?
Or do I want the situation to continue to deteriorate, until I not only stop talking to my father, grandparents, but also to you.

Or even depression, or a runaway child? “

Woman: “Of course I hope it will be better.”

Lin Feng: “Then tell me what better looks like, be more specific.”

Woman: “Just someone who is more sunny and can talk to me about anything.”

Lin Feng knocked on the table and said, “Okay, let me tell you now, I think it’s highly likely that you won’t be able to have a child like this.”

???

Woman: “Why?”

Raymond Lam: “Because it was very obvious during our conversation just now.
Although you said that both the child and the grandmother were wrong, I can feel that you hope the child can change and that most of the fault lies with the child.

The current situation is that he has stopped talking and communicating with three adults in this family.

In other words, you are the only path and channel that allows children to feel that they still have a certain psychological security or a source of warmth at this stage.

But what are you doing now?
If you still focus on your child’s living habits and grades, then you are the one who wants to cut off this last path.”

The woman was silent for a moment and then said, “But grandma didn’t mean any harm by saying those things.”

Lin Feng waved his hand and said, “What the old man said, no matter if he said I was doing it for the good of the child or for the bad of the child,

When he told those words to his children, they all came together into one sentence: You are wrong, you are not right. “

The woman thought carefully about Lin Feng’s words and nodded.

Lin Feng: “And what is said without bad intentions may not be true. For example, if I ask you, is your business not doing well because of the children?”

The woman shook her head.

Raymond Lam: “Is it because of him that business is bad?

Or is it because you are under too much pressure after having him, so your business is not doing well?”

The woman shook her head again.

Raymond Lam continued: “I won’t comment on the older generation, they have their own limitations, and they can’t change it, so I won’t comment on this.

What I want to say is that although you said that both the grandmother and the child were wrong, I can probably guess that when the child was protesting,
You showed absolutely no support or understanding.
Even if it is the understanding behind it,
You use a softer approach to persuade the child, hoping that he can accept his grandmother’s point of view and even admit his mistakes.

Am I right? “

The woman nodded: “Yes.”

Raymond Lam: “So the child’s current state is not that he can get much warmth from you.

He is patient with you.

Because you are my mother,
But I don’t think I can stand it for much longer.”

This. . .

Lin Feng: “Sister-in-law, don’t say I’m scaring you.

Think about it yourself.

After a child confronted his father, mother and grandfather, he finally chose to block them.
That is what you mean by not talking and not communicating.

why?
Because I am isolated and helpless!
But in your opinion, his behavior is still wrong. But you don’t know that this is just a self-protection action.

A 14-year-old child, without much original sin, receives scolding every day.

At this time, he tried to resist and seek support from the outside world, but his own mother did not support him.

The only way he can choose to protect himself is to retreat and block out what you say.

I’ll take a step back and I won’t have direct contact with you.

So tell me what he did wrong?
He was just protecting himself.

This is the best way a 14-year-old child can find to get along with you in his current family environment.

Do you understand? “

Woman: “I understand. What you mean is that he just doesn’t want to communicate and doesn’t want to escalate the conflict.

In fact, I also tried to communicate with him. I took him to his grandmother’s house, and the child was very cooperative and followed me.

But when we got there, we talked about it, but the result was not good.”

Lin Feng frowned: “Why do you want to take him to communicate with grandpa and grandma?

Although you used the word ‘communication’,
But I can guess that you probably brought him to apologize to his grandparents, right?”

The woman nodded: “Yes.”

Lin Feng was speechless: “Can that still be called communication? That’s admitting a mistake.”

Woman: “Yes, you can say it’s an admission of fault.”

Lin Feng waved his hand: “Okay, I think I have said everything I should say.”

The woman said anxiously: “That’s because of his grandparents…”

Shut up!
Lin Feng said bluntly: “I’m not here to debate with you. If you still come to argue with me with your ideas, there’s no need for us to continue chatting.”

The woman quickly shut up.

Lin Feng said: “Think about it, although what you told me was communication, in reality it was forcing the child to admit his mistake to his grandparents.
But the child loves you very much, and he even tolerates you, cooperates with you, and endures you, which makes him willing to do this action.
But what about the result?
This made things worse.

In the end you blame the child.

You are such a dear mother!
You said earlier that you had communicated with your child.

same,
Based on previous theories and statements, it is likely that you have never communicated with your child at all.

Or,

You didn’t think about these issues from his perspective.

You never provide your child with adequate psychological support.

In all conversations, you are probably telling him that what you are doing is wrong.

Is this what you call communication?”

The woman is silent.

Because she does.

Raymond Lam: “I’m not trying to scare you. The frequency of depression among children of this age group is increasing year by year.
If you hope that your child will move in that direction, or even want to give him a push, then you should continue to interact with your child in this way.

If you don’t want to, please stand in the child’s shoes and treat him as a person, a person who does not have too many original sins.

Whether the family’s financial situation is good or bad, it is not caused by the children.
No matter how much you want class-crossing, economic reform, and family harmony, you can’t ask a 14-year-old to carry so much.
Especially to bear the negative emotional catharsis from adults,

Is his grandmother really doing this for the good of the child?

Is there another possibility that due to the pressure of life, the elderly also need to find an emotional outlet?

So he would naturally choose the weakest member of the family.

of course,

We can understand and even tolerate the elderly, as we are their children.

But as a mother, please don’t continue like this.

Even if you close the door behind your back and say a few heartfelt words to your child when no one is around.

You have to tell him that mom understands you and knows that you are wronged.

My grandparents are a little confused now, and what they said is not right.

You have to comfort him and give him strength, not scold him.
The child will be isolated and helpless.

There are four adults in a group, and he has been communicating continuously with three of them.

Are you going to push him out?
At this stage, he is actually tolerating you.
Because you are his biological mother and he loves you, he is willing to tolerate you.

but,

Don’t worry, there will be a day when he can’t stand it anymore.
By that day it was too late.
It’s just like the picture you mentioned.”

Ah! Woo woo woo woo.

The woman suddenly burst into tears.

“Brother, what should I do next? I realize that I was wrong. Please teach me.”

Lin Feng tapped the blackboard and said, “It’s very simple. Do you remember how he looked when he was two or three years old and was with you?”

Woman: “Remember.”

Raymond Lam: “Okay, love him the same way you loved him when he was two or three years old.

No matter if he peed on the bed or defecated on the kang, when he was two or three years old, you would not scold him or even slap him for peeing or defecating.
Then you should put this mentality into practice at that time.
You are a mother, a dear mother. Don’t be in a hurry to tell him so many things. Just love him first and pull him back.

Let him feel that there is still someone worth staying in this family, and that there is someone who is willing to give him warmth and stand by his side. “

. . . . . .

On the barrage.

“Love him again like I did when we were two or three years old… I’m crying my ass off.”

“Love him first, then pull him back (burst into tears).”

“This microphone is so precious. It made me suddenly realize my own problem. I always thought I was communicating with my child, but in fact I was just trying to make him admit his mistake…”

“Oh, I have the same problem.”

“Who knew that these two sentences, ‘Mom understands you, Mom knows you’ve been wronged’ would have such destructive power on me.”

“I don’t know. I’ve never heard this sentence (tears).”

Come on buddy.

. . . . . .

“Humph, that’s spoiling.”

A male voice sounded again from Mike’s end.

Lin Feng roughly guessed that it was the boy’s father.

At that moment, he sneered and said, “Brother, I want to tell you that it was thanks to my sister-in-law’s special love for him when she was a child.

Of course, you can also understand it as spoiling.
So far, despite the extremely intense conflict,

The child no longer talks to grandparents and you.

But he still has a certain tolerance for this woman.
If you had given him such a strict education since he was young, this child probably wouldn’t even care about his mother today.”

Man: “Comrade, I think what you said is wrong. I think it’s because his mother spoiled him when he was a child that he has all these bad habits now.”

Lin Feng smiled: “Brother, let me ask you something, in your eyes, is this child always wrong?”

Man: “Of course, this child cannot be praised. He becomes arrogant when praised and loves to lie. I am worried about what he will do when he enters society in the future.”

Lin Feng frowned: “Brother, now is not the time for him to enter the society in the future.
Now, if this situation continues to develop, and the adults in your family do not change their attitude towards him,

The question is whether he still has a chance to stay out of society.

What are you thinking about getting into society? You really made me laugh, man.”

A woman’s anxious voice came from Mike’s other end.

“Please stop talking nonsense, okay? I don’t want anything else right now. I just want my son to be happy and healthy.”

“Can being happy and healthy mean you can live a good life and make money? I am worried about his future in society. Am I wrong?”

There was an argument on Mike’s end.

Lin Feng shook his head and muted the two of them.

He turned around and asked Yu Huanshui to help him light a cigarette, took a puff, and sighed at the screen: “When you were a child, I was afraid that you would be proud, so I suppressed you and made you afraid to stand out. When you grow up, I want you to be confident and not introverted.

When you were a child, you were told not to compare your food, clothing and other expenses with others. Now that you grow up, you don’t compare yourself with others, but instead you are said to be a loser.

I hope you will be rigid and upright and not able to lie in your childhood, but I hope you will be flexible, cunning and worldly-wise when you grow up.

I really admire you parents.”

. . . . . .

On the barrage.

“When you are young, you praise obedient children. When you grow up, you are said to be too honest (grin).”

“When I was a child, the word ‘honest’ was a compliment, but when I grew up, it became a derogatory word.”

“When they are young, they need authority, and when they grow up, they want you to make money (dog heads).”

“Summary: All evaluations are based on their own interests.”

So true.

. . . . . .

Raymond Lam: “Brother,

I just want to ask you one question.
Do you really think that if the situation continues to deteriorate, your children will have a chance to enter society normally like other people in the future?”

Raymond Lam turns on the microphone.

Man: “Oh, it’s not as serious as you say.”

The woman cried, “Please stop talking. Have you seen my son’s drawings? If anything happens to my son, I will fight you.”

There was another quarrel on the other side.

Lin Feng: “Sister-in-law,
Stop fighting,
If you still want this son,

The other three adults in the family can do whatever they want.
Including his father,

The probability is that it cannot be changed.

You can only love your child more, understand him more, and stand by him more.
Start by pretending to stand on the child’s side, then gradually change to really standing on the child’s side.
Understand your child’s grievances and give him an outlet to express them.

Finally, I’ll give you a word.

A boy’s life is determined by his mother’s words. “

The woman shuddered.

Holding back tears, she said, “Okay, big brother, I will listen to you.”

“Okay, then I really thank you on behalf of the child.”

So be it.

Raymond Lam hung up the call.

. . . . . . .

On the barrage.

“A boy’s life destiny is hidden in his mother’s mouth… (covering her mouth and crying).”

“Oh my god, this is too magical (crying to death).”

“I believe my child will be able to do it and will become better and better (Flowers).”

“My kids are the best (thumbs up).”

“My daughter will get better and better and more beautiful (pen refill).

“…” (End of this chapter)