Chapter 234 My dear mother, why do you control me like this?

Depend on!
are you crazy!

Kick the two off the mic,

Raymond Lam said to the live studio:
“Brothers,

We are not affected by those two perverts.

Let’s get back to the previous topic.

I believe the girl’s story is not a script, because there are too many such examples in reality.

I don’t want to criticize those little fairies here.

I would like to talk to you about the importance of communication.

There is a cartoon called Garfield, I think everyone has seen it.

I don’t know if you noticed.
on TV,
Garfield the cat got lost and was sold to a pet shop. Every day he worried that his owner Jon couldn’t find him and he missed him so much that he became sick.

But one morning, Jon walked into the pet store and saw Garfield, so he took it home again.

At the end of the TV show, Garfield said to the sunset: I will never ask Jon why he walked into the pet store that day.

He didn’t dare to ask.

Because Garfield thought Jon walked into the pet store to buy a new pet.

And Jon never told Garfield that he had run all over the city looking for him.

That day he walked into the last pet shop in the city with his last hope.

The same is true for people.
We don’t have a God’s perspective.
They cannot see each other’s efforts, so they will feel unbalanced, suspicious of each other, feel wronged, and disappointed.

So stop wasting your emotions, good communication is the best way to solve the problem.”

. . . . .

On the barrage.

“These are the male and female protagonists (dog heads) who never opened their mouths in the novel.”

“Hey! Not everyone can hit a straight ball. Personality determines a person’s behavior.”

“Yes, a twisted person like me will never learn to play straight (crying to death).”

“If you don’t ask, you’re afraid you won’t get the answer you want.”

“I don’t say it because I’m afraid that if I say it, I’ll be considered hypocritical.”

exactly.

“In summary: You don’t ask + I don’t tell = misunderstanding (heart).”

“Additional: You asked + I said = the battle begins (smile).”

Fuck you.

Hahahaha.

“Is there a possibility that:

Garfield: Why did you go to the pet store that day?
Jon: That day I walked into the last pet store with my last glimmer of hope.

Garfield: Humph, do you think I’ll believe you? You just want to buy another cat to replace me.

Jon: ? ? What are you talking about? How can I find a cat to replace you? And you are back now, right? I found it for you, didn’t I?

Garfield: Haha, I see you wanted to buy another cat, but you didn’t expect to see me, did you regret coming to this pet store? It doesn’t matter, you don’t need to regret it, I’m leaving now, I’ll make room for the new cat.

Jon: Garfield, what are you talking about? Can you please stop being unreasonable?
Garfield: I’m being unreasonable? Don’t you think you shouldn’t go to the pet store? What are you doing there? Don’t I know that?
Jon: I went looking for you, and when I found you I brought you back to you.

Garfield: I don’t believe it. Let’s break up.

“Military Advisor: Classic, classic, too classic!!”

Hahahahaha.

. . . . . .

Raymond Lam: “Everyone is grinning, have you found a partner?”

You guys,
You deserve to be single.

Next person.

Ding~
“Hello there!”

It’s a more mature female voice.

Raymond Lam: “Hello, do you have any emotional problems?”

Woman: “It’s not an emotional issue. My daughter said she wanted to come up and take you.”

? ?
Lin Feng: “I don’t understand, what’s going on?”

Woman: “My daughter will be a senior in September. She has some problems with her studies. Whenever I intervene, she asks you to help her.

To be honest, I haven’t watched your live broadcast, and I don’t know you, but she just won’t obey and always uses the words you taught her to refute me.
So I came up today to see you and connect with you on this microphone.”

Lin Feng smiled: “What words did I teach you?”

Woman: “It means that the original family is not good, and the parents don’t understand the child.”

Lin Feng said to the live broadcast room: “Brothers, am I so influential now? I am a teacher of emotions, and I have set foot in the education industry?”

The screen is full of laughter.

He has to be a military advisor.

Bullfrog!

Raymond Lam: “Is your child nearby?”

“exist.”

Lin Feng: “Okay, mom, please don’t talk for now. I’ll talk to the child.”

“it is good!”

next second.

“Brother Atong.”

? ?
Lin Feng was stunned.

Another veteran fan?
Girl: “Brother Atong, I’ve been watching your live broadcast for a long time, starting with the original nine-turn pig intestines.”

puff~
The screen is full of laughter.

The newcomer doesn’t understand.

“What is Nine-turn Fat Intestine?”

Stranger: “V me 50, I’ll send you a video.”

Big Spicy Pie: “V me 70, and add an electric cannon.”

What the hell!

Has the anchor played so hard before?

Hahahahaha.

. . . . .

Lin Feng’s forehead was dark, and he coughed twice: “Brother is not doing anything now, will my sister be disappointed?”

The girl shook her head: “No, no, although our school does not allow premature love, and I have never been in a relationship, but I think a lot of what Brother Atong said makes sense, and he is my life mentor.”

Lin Feng smiled: “Come on, tell me your story.”

Uh-huh.

Girl: “I am a senior high school student, attending the best school in the city. My father used to abuse me, and my mother also likes to control me.”

“Jingjing, what nonsense are you talking about?”

The woman interrupted.

Lin Feng frowned: “Parent, you will have time to talk later, can you please not interrupt the child now?”

The woman stopped talking.

Lin Feng: “Come on, sister, continue.”

Girl: “I’ve had moderate depression before, and now I feel a little bit hindered in my studies because of this disease.”

Lin Feng: “Your father abused you? Just say your father beat you, right?”

“Yes, the one that left a deep impression on me was when I broke a cup in the third grade, and he beat me with a belt and locked me on the balcony for a day.

At that time, the balcony had no windows sealed, and it had been raining heavily all day, so I squatted in the corner and begged my dad to let me in.
But he ignored me.

I then passed out and was hospitalized for a week.”

Lin Feng frowned: “Where’s your mother? Didn’t she stop you at that time?”

Girl: “My mother wasn’t home that day.”

. . . . .

On the barrage.

“When I was little, my father also beat me with a belt. In the summer, my body was covered with blood marks. I didn’t dare to wear short-sleeved shirts and shorts (crying to death).”

“Is a belt so powerful? My dad would hit me on the head with an ashtray, my mom would hit me with a rolling pin, and sometimes my mom would come over and pinch me when I was sleeping (smile).”

“It’s not sisters, your mother is sick (grin).”

“Haha, maybe. Anyway, when she was unhappy, she would knock me out with a stick. There were a few times when my neighbors came to visit and saved me.”

“Hug you (poor).”

“I’m 20 years old, and I still get beaten for talking loudly and talking back at home. Can you believe it? (grin)”

. . . . .

Recalling the past, the girl felt a little depressed.

Lin Feng: “Sister, I think you are pretty good, because even in this situation, you were admitted to the best high school in your city.

You are so awesome.

If I were to do this, my dad would beat me every day and I would definitely not be able to study well.
So I think you are very powerful, and you have a strong sense of power.”

Girl: “Really?”

Lin Feng: “Of course, you have to know that you have already beaten many people to get into the best high school in your city. You are really great.”

Girl: “Wow, thanks, brother Atong.”

Perhaps because she hadn’t been praised by others for a long time, the girl suddenly started crying.

Lin Feng did not say anything to dissuade her because he knew the girl needed to release her emotions at this moment.

When the girl’s mood slowly recovered, Lin Feng continued: “Sister, you are not oppressed by a bad family environment. You are naturally tenacious.
Moreover, you can watch your brother’s live broadcast during the summer vacation and ask for help. You have to know that not all children have the courage to connect to the microphone.

You are really great. “

Girl: “Thank you, Brother Atong.”

Lin Feng: “Tell me, what do you want to ask me? Or what do you want me to help you with?”

Girl: “I…I just don’t know what to do?”

Raymond Lam: “You mean your dad is abusive and your mom is highly controlling?”

Girl: “Actually, after I got sick, my psychologist talked to them and they changed a lot. But after the parent-teacher conference, they became uncommunicative again.”

Lin Feng thought for a while and said, “Tell me, were you happy during the time when your parents changed?”

The girl nodded repeatedly: “Happy.”

Lin Feng: “At least it shows that your parents can change and communicate. It’s just that they changed back after the parents’ meeting, right?”

Girl: “Yes!”

Lin Feng: “Okay, now I will teach you a term in psychology: transparency bias.

Do you know what that means? “

The girl shook her head.

Lin Feng: “Transparency bias means that we overestimate our understanding of other people’s mental states.

We also tend to overestimate how well others understand our mental states.

To put it simply, you think you have explained it clearly and he thinks he understands it.

Because each of us faces the world with self-centeredness.
Then we are very likely to make a mistake, which is what I think, you should know.

It’s like I’m saying to Brother Shui now, there may be 50,000 or 60,000 people in the room for the live broadcast tonight, why are you wearing this black clothes?
You see, this is what I think.

I think Brother Shui should know this, because at such an important moment, one should dress in a more festive and cheerful way.

Instead of lifeless black clothes.

Wait a moment,
Someone in the barrage said: Brother Shui, the military advisor is calling on you.

You guys should stop sowing discord.

That’s not the case, Brother Shui.

You look good in black clothes, too.

of course,

It would be better if you could change into red.”

Well. . .

Phew~

Hee hee hee.

Shui Ge’s innocent look made the girl laugh.

Raymond Lam: “So, sister,
That’s how people are,
I think you should know my needs and my thoughts.

Therefore, when expressing yourself, you don’t consider the other person’s feelings.

I think I’m fine, but the fact is that Brother Shui is very sad.

If Brother Shui didn’t tell me and kept his sadness to himself, I would never know. “

Yu Huanshui: “Humph, I’m very unhappy!”

Haha,

look,

That way I’ll know.

Lin Feng: “So sister, you and your parents are in such a relationship now.

They use suppression to urge you to study, thinking that you will understand their good intentions.

But can you understand?

You can’t.

You will only think that I am depressed. I am such a thoughtful girl, and I was hurt by you guys.

Why can’t you let me breathe? Why do you keep hurting me like this?

You think they should be able to see the oppression and harm you have suffered.

Actually?
They cannot see.

Why can’t they see your sadness, and you can’t see their intentions?
This is called transparency bias.

We all see the world from a self-centered perspective. You think my intentions are so obvious that you should understand even if I don’t say it.

In fact,

No one is a worm in anyone else’s stomach.

You can’t understand them 100%.

It is impossible for them to empathize with your emotions all the time.

Why did your parents improve last time?

Because your school’s psychologist had a communication with your parents.

Do you want me to communicate with your parents this time?
of course can.

But sister, remember this.

Whether it is your psychology teacher or Brother Atong, we can’t always be with you.

So you have to learn to communicate with your parents yourself.

How to communicate specifically?
Very simple.

You just need to remember three words: things will be answered as you ask for them.

Fact: Just the facts, tell them the fact is that I am depressed.

Suffer: It means feeling. Tell them that I feel very uncomfortable and miserable, as if I am sick.

Beg: It means begging, begging your parents not to torture you anymore.

Remember, when you feel depressed and suffocated, just express it to your parents.”

Lin Feng finished speaking.

Not only the girl fell into deep thought, but her mother also looked enlightened.

Lin Feng: “Sister, you have a naturally tenacious side, because you can be admitted to the best high school under such a high-pressure environment, this is the best proof.

But you cry easily, which means you are a girl with a delicate mind and a soft heart.

This is not okay.

You must boldly accuse your parents, boldly express your pain, and completely break the transparency bias.

Using the method of “being asked for something”,

tell them,

I’m in so much pain now, don’t you know?
I’m already moderately depressed, are you still going to force me?
Trust me,
You don’t express it.

They may really not know.

Just like when my brother was a child, every time he visited relatives during the Chinese New Year,
My mother would always ask me to perform in front of our relatives.

When I was young,
We ourselves are also conspicuous.

They performed shows for everyone, such as reciting Tang poems, playing with sticks, drunken boxing, and splits.

When the adults laugh, we are happy too.

Later bigger.

My mother even asked me to perform.

If I don’t express it, my mother will never know that I have grown up, have self-esteem, and have become thinner-skinned.

For several years in a row, I lost my temper and made a fuss with my mother.

Later, I expressed my thoughts to my mother.

I still remember what my mother said to me, son, why didn’t you tell me earlier? I was wrong.

That time my mother admitted her mistake to me very deeply.

And since then, my mother never let me perform again.

Even if relatives make a fuss, my mother will help me find excuses.

This is called transparency bias.
You thought your mother should know that you have grown up and have self-esteem, and should not drag you out to perform anymore.

But if you don’t express it, she may really not know.

So when you feel uncomfortable, make sure to express it.

If they still don’t understand,
That means you are not strong enough.
You need to step up and tell them about the hurt you’ve suffered.

It is better to give an example to make it easier for them to understand.

For example, when you were in third grade, you just broke an ordinary glass, and then your father beat you with a belt, locked you outside on the balcony to get wet in the rain for a day, and you ended up being hospitalized for a week.

Now that you are a senior in high school, you can still remember every detail of that day clearly.

Why is the memory so good?

Because you will never forget the fear of that day!!

You can boldly ask your father why he treated me like that!
It’s just a glass, and you beat me with a belt and left me in the rain?!

You left me with a lifelong psychological trauma, do you know that? !
And you,
My dear mother,

Why weren’t you there when I needed you the most? ! !

Why do you still want to control me when you know I’ve been hurt so much? !

Am I your daughter?!”

Lin Feng finished speaking.

The entire live broadcast room was silent…

(End of this chapter)