Chapter 84: The fear, despair, and frustration of the first-life winter spirit.

It hurts, it hurts too much!
Dong Ling slowly opened her eyes, her senior brother’s cold look still in her mind.

It hurts, it hurts!

Dong Ling’s eyes were instantly filled with tears.

Dong Ling’s heart seemed to be ruthlessly cut by a sharp blade. She tried to soothe the heart-wrenching pain, but found that the pain surged like a tide, leaving her with nowhere to escape.

Dong Ling laughed miserably.

Dong Ling’s miserable smile was like petals withering in the cold wind, full of helplessness and bitterness. Her face was as pale as paper, and her eyes were flashing with flames of anger and despair. Her hands were clenched into fists, and her knuckles turned white from excessive force, as if she wanted to crush all the pain and anger in her heart.

Her chest rose and fell violently, and every breath was accompanied by a sharp pain. Her heart was filled with resentment and anger towards the first life of Dong Ling. Why did she do such a thing that made Senior Brother Lin Qi so heartbroken and put herself into this endless pain.

“It’s all your fault!” Dong Ling growled, her voice full of anger and unwillingness. She hated Dong Ling’s selfishness and impulsiveness in her first life, and hated her for destroying the deep relationship between her and her senior brother. She wanted to find her former self and tear her apart to relieve her hatred.

However, anger can’t change anything, it will only make her pain worse. Dong Ling knew that she had to face reality, accept her mistakes, and try to make up for it. However, every time she thought of her senior brother’s cold eyes, her heart felt like it was torn apart, and she was in so much pain that she couldn’t breathe.

She stood up, her eyes gleaming with determination. She decided that no matter what the cost, she would find her senior brother, apologize to him, and ask for his forgiveness.

“It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. You actually dared to kill my brother! You deserve to die! You deserve to die!”

Winter Spirit roared.

“Oh, blame me, aren’t you the same?”

The First Life Winter Spirit said faintly, “I advise you to face the reality clearly!”

When Dong Ling heard the voice of the first life Dong Ling, she felt as if struck by lightning, and anger and despair intertwined in her heart.

“Shut up!” Dong Ling roared, her voice echoing in the empty room, sounding extremely harsh. She clenched her fists, her nails digging deep into her palms, as if she wanted to release all the anger and pain.

“What rights do you have to blame me? If it weren’t for you, why would my brother leave me?” Dong Ling’s voice trembled, tears flashed in her eyes, but anger made her refuse to let the tears fall.

“Humph, how innocent do you think you are?” The voice of the first life Dong Ling sounded again, as if coming from the bottom of Dong Ling’s heart, “If it weren’t for the jealousy and greed in your heart, how could I make such a choice?”

“Jealous?” Dong Ling’s face turned pale. “No! No!”

“No?” The First Life Dong Ling sneered, “Isn’t your happiness built on the pain of your senior brother? You are afraid that Chen Wansi will think you are not as good as your senior brother, so you destroy your senior brother’s swordsmanship, hehe.”

“What do you know? You are the same. Brother is about to forgive me! Why did you show up? You deserve to die!”

“You’ve ruined everything for us!” Dong Ling’s voice became sharp. “It’s you who put me in a situation I can’t get out of. It’s you who made me what I am today. I hate you, I hate your selfishness, I hate your ruthlessness!”

“You knew you killed my senior brother, so why did you dare to appear in front of him?”

Dong Ling was filled with uncontrollable rage. She punched hard but could only hit the empty air. She felt as if she was surrounded by endless darkness and could not find a way out.

“You hate me?” The First Life Dong Ling sneered, “Do you think I care? I only care about my brother, and whether he can forgive me. As for you, you are just a passer-by in my life, I don’t care at all.”

Dong Ling was silent, an inexplicable emotion surging in her heart.

However, anger still filled her heart. She clenched her fists tightly and shouted at the air: “I only regret that I didn’t wake up earlier and apologize to my senior brother earlier!”

“Get out of my body! Get out!”

Her words echoed in the empty room, as if they were a cry from her own heart and an accusation against the first-life Winter Spirit.

The First Life Winter Spirit sneered, “We are the same person, but from different worlds. You are wishful thinking!”

Dong Ling shook her head, gritted her teeth, lowered her head with madness in her eyes, and suddenly stretched out her hand and inserted her fingers into her chest.

Dong Ling’s movements suddenly became crazy and determined, with a crazy light flashing in her eyes, as if she wanted to burn the whole world. She roared, her voice filled with endless pain and anger, and every word seemed to be torn out from the depths of her soul.

She lowered her head suddenly, her long hair scattered, covering her pale and distorted face. Her hands trembled, as if she was carrying a heavy burden, but her movements were extremely firm. She took a deep breath, as if to absorb all the courage into her body, and then suddenly exerted force and inserted her fingers deeply into her chest.

“Ah——” Dong Ling let out a heart-wrenching scream, her voice echoing in the empty room, sounding extremely shrill. Her fingers cut a deep wound on her chest, and blood gushed out, staining her clothes and her hands red.

However, Dong Ling seemed to feel no pain, and there was only madness and determination in her eyes. She tore at the wound hard, as if she wanted to pull her heart out of her chest. Her face showed a painful and distorted expression, but her movements were extremely firm, as if there was an irresistible force driving her.

“What are you going to do?!” The First Life Winter Spirit was furious and shocked.

“I’m going to take your selfish heart out!” Dong Ling roared, her voice full of anger and despair. Her fingers groped in the wound, and every touch made her feel a sharp pain, but she seemed to feel nothing and just tore it madly.

Finally, her fingers touched the beating heart. She held it tightly and pulled it out. Her face was distorted with pain, but her eyes were shining with determination. She seemed to release all the pain and anger through this action.

“Get out!” Dong Ling roared, her voice echoing in the room, as if to shatter the whole world. She pulled the heart hard, as if to completely peel it out of her chest.

However, just when she was about to succeed, she suddenly felt a sharp pain in her body, as if a powerful force was stopping her. She almost fainted from the pain, but she still held on to the heart tightly and refused to let go.

“What are you doing? Damn it! Damn it!”

In the first life, Dong Ling was angry. After Dong Ling died again, it became difficult for her to transfer the power because the distance was too far!
“No! I can’t give up!” Dong Ling gritted her teeth, with a crazy light flashing in her eyes. She used all her strength to pull the heart hard again. Finally, with her efforts, the heart slowly slid out of her chest.

Dong Ling held a still-beating heart in her hand, with a painful and twisted expression on her face. She looked at the heart, as if she saw all her own pain and anger. She used all her strength to throw the heart to the ground.

“Get out! Get out of my body!” Dong Ling roared, her voice echoing in the room, as if to release all the pain and anger. She looked at the heart lying on the ground, her eyes flashing with madness.

The figure of the first life Dong Ling appeared on the heart. She was furious and stared at Dong Ling, “Are you looking for death?”

“Are you looking for death?” The figure of the first-life Dong Ling appeared on the heart, her face twisted, her eyes burning with anger. She stretched out her empty hands, as if to penetrate the barrier of space, grab Dong Ling, and drag her into endless darkness. However, facing the anger of the first-life Dong Ling, Dong Ling suddenly felt a strange sense of relaxation. She looked at the still beating heart, as if she saw the fear and pain deep in her heart. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, as if to absorb all the pain into her body.

When she opened her eyes again, they were gleaming with a mad light. She laughed, a laugh of relief, a laugh of madness. Her laugh echoed through the empty room, a mixture of pain and joy.

“I finally understand the pain that my senior brother once felt!” Dong Ling’s voice was trembling but firm. “The pain of being betrayed, misunderstood, and hurt… It’s like a knife cutting my heart, and it hurts so much that I don’t want to die!”

There was a look of pain on her face, but there was a hint of a smile on her lips. Her smile was full of sympathy and understanding for her brother, as well as regret and self-blame for her own behavior.

“In my first life, you may feel that I was innocent and wronged.” Dong Ling’s voice became soft and firm, “But you don’t know how much pain your selfishness and impulsiveness brought to your brother. He trusted you so much, but you betrayed him. You destroyed his swordsmanship and his life.”

“We are both newbies who are the source of all this!”

Dong Ling’s words were full of anger and pain, but her eyes were extremely firm. She looked at the figure of the first Dong Ling, as if she could see through her heart.

“Now, I finally understand a little bit of my brother’s pain.” Dong Ling continued, “The feeling of being betrayed by the person you love the most is ten thousand times more painful than you can imagine!”

Her words were filled with crazy joy, as if she had found a sense of relief while experiencing this pain. She looked at the heart, her eyes flashing with complex light.

“Get out of my body!” Dong Ling roared again, her voice full of determination and firmness, “Take your selfishness and impulsiveness and get out of my world!”

The First Life Dong Ling looked at Dong Ling with a gloomy gaze, “This will indeed make you feel something, but it’s useless. As time goes by, the pain will come again, especially…”

“At our level, we can’t die even if we want to.”

Dong Ling fell to the ground, bleeding profusely. She laughed miserably, her eyes silent. “No matter what, I’m going to die. I’m going to see my brother!”

The eyes of the first life Dong Ling were as deep as a pool. She sat beside the heart and quietly looked at the miserable and bleeding Dong Ling in front of her. Her face no longer had the previous anger, but a complex look of memories.

“You will indeed feel some pain, but it’s useless.” The First Life Dong Ling spoke slowly, revealing a hint of helplessness in his voice, “Our realm has long transcended life and death. We can’t die even if we want to.”

When she looked at Dong Ling, it was as if she saw her former self – the young, impulsive self who was desperate for the so-called love. In the first life, Dong Ling’s heart was filled with an inexplicable emotion. She remembered her past obsession and the endless pain she had brought to her senior brother.

“You know what?” The voice of the First Dong Ling became softer. “I was once like you. I thought I could die, but in the end, all I got was pain and regret.”

She looked at Dong Ling with a trace of sympathy in her eyes. “I have experienced everything you are going through now. However, the pain will not disappear just because you escape. It will only leave deeper scars in your heart.”

Dong Ling was lying on the ground, her face as pale as paper, but her eyes were shining with determination. She laughed miserably, her voice weak but firm: “I don’t care, I’m going to die, I’m going to see my brother!”

Her voice echoed in the empty room like a declaration of relief.

Illusions began to emerge before her eyes – the past her, who had learned swordsmanship from her senior brother, and the two of them had fought side by side and gone through countless storms together.

She saw her senior brother’s warm smile and the love and expectation for her in his eyes.

Those past memories came flooding back like a tide, making her feel warm and comforted. However, she also knew clearly that all of this was just an illusion, her senior brother was no longer there, and he hated her so much that she could never go back.

The first Dong Ling looked at the dying Dong Ling, and a complex emotion surged in her heart. She sighed softly and stretched out her hand to touch Dong Ling’s cheek, but her hand passed through Dong Ling’s body and could not touch her.

Her existence depends on the winter spirit.

“Don’t be silly.” The First Life Dong Ling’s voice was full of helplessness and gentleness. “It’s useless for you to do this. Only by facing your past can you truly let it go. Otherwise, you will only be troubled by it and will never be able to get rid of it.”

Dong Ling shook his head slowly.

The first life Dong Ling did not try to persuade him anymore and watched Dong Ling die with his body lying on the ground.

In the first life, Dong Ling was disheartened. She looked into the distance and said, “Brother, is it really impossible for you to forgive us?”

The first life Dong Ling trembled. She was in pain, so much pain.

She searched for ten thousand years, ten thousand years, just to find her senior brother!

However, the senior brother refused to forgive her.

In the first life, Dong Ling was at a loss and didn’t know what to do.

The first Dong Ling stood in the empty room, with Dong Ling’s body lying at her feet, her eyes full of confusion and pain. She felt an unprecedented emptiness, as if the whole world had lost its color and meaning.

She looked into the distance, silently chanting her senior brother’s name, her voice filled with endless sorrow and longing. She had been searching and waiting for ten thousand years, just to see her senior brother again and get his forgiveness. But now it seemed that everything was in vain.

She recalled the time she spent with her senior brother, and those beautiful days seemed like yesterday. She remembered her senior brother’s smile, so warm and tolerant. She remembered how good he was to her, how he took care of her, and how he taught her. But now all of this has become a bubble, and she can never go back.

In the first life, Dong Ling felt an unprecedented despair. She didn’t know how to face all this, she didn’t know where to go. She felt as if her body was hollowed out, and waves of emptiness overwhelmed her.

She sat on the ground, hugged her knees with her hands, and buried her head between her knees. Her tears slid down her cheeks and wet her clothes. She felt her heart aching, and that pain was tens of millions times more painful than any physical wound.

She didn’t know how to make up for her mistakes, she didn’t know how to win back her senior brother’s heart. She only knew that she had done something wrong, she knew that she had let her senior brother down. But what was the point of saying all this now? It was impossible for her senior brother to come back to her.

In the first life, Dong Ling’s heart was filled with regret and self-blame. She regretted her impulsiveness and selfishness, and she regretted not cherishing the time she spent with her senior brother. She blamed herself for bringing so much pain and harm to her senior brother, and she blamed herself for not being able to redeem everything.

She felt as if she was trapped in a dark cage, unable to escape. She wanted to shout loudly, to find a ray of light and hope, but she found that she had lost all her strength.

The first Dong Ling just sat quietly on the ground, letting the emptiness and pain overwhelm her. She didn’t know what kind of future she would face, she only knew that her heart was completely broken.

On the side, Dong Ling slowly opened his eyes, “Brother, is this the underworld?”

(End of this chapter)