Chapter 5481 (Five Thousand Four Hundred and Eighty-One)

“I say,” the man said, “maybe it’s because… when there’s movement around me, I… tend to… pay attention to it. But… when it’s quiet, without those movements attracting me, I sometimes… can’t help but face my inner self and pay attention to myself. However… I’m very afraid to face my inner self. This is sometimes a terrifying thing for me.”

The Gray Hand asked again: “Did you come up with this idea at this moment? You don’t always think this way, do you?”

“Yes.” The man said, “I just thought of it. Normally…even if fear strikes, I won’t…won’t think about facing my inner thoughts. And…not only that, I usually don’t have any interest in this kind of…this kind of… “

“Which one?” asked the Gray Hand Man because he felt he hadn’t made himself clear.

“It’s just…what’s going on inside or outside…” the man said, “I don’t usually like to think about these things.”

The Gray Hand Man asked, “The sudden silence in the dream frightened you. Was it because at that moment you felt you couldn’t face your inner self?”

“That should be it.” said the man.

The Gray Hand Man asked, “What do you think about when you are quiet?”

“Because I felt fear, but… I didn’t want to face this fear. I told myself again and again that there was nothing to be afraid of, but… it seemed that the more I told myself, the more obvious the fear became.” The man said, “The word he told me before began to… hover in my mind.”

“Which word?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“It’s ‘Xuwang’.” said the man.

“Did you know what it meant at the time?” the Gray Hand asked. “I didn’t know yet. At that time… he didn’t tell me much.” the man said.

“Then why are you afraid of its hovering?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“After all… I don’t understand what it is but… I don’t dare to ask.” The man said, “Because there is the word ‘net’ in it, I feel like this ‘net’ seems to be able to trap me inside, and… once I’m trapped inside, it will tighten and trap me inside, and then I… will never be able to get out.”

“Isn’t this all your own idea?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“Yes.” The man said, “It was my own thought… That’s what I thought in the dream. It was originally without any basis, but… even if it was my own unfounded thought, when… I was immersed in it, I would… think it was real, and that I would be trapped in the net forever. That… was really… scary.”

The Gray Hand Man asked, “Before this, didn’t you already experience a lot of pain in your dream?”

“Yes.” said the man.

“Are those pains not more terrible than you think?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“It’s not less terrible than I thought, but… the severe pain before… has passed. Although I can still feel the pain before, it has been alleviated and will not be as severe as before.” The man said, “Besides… the pain before is still there, but it has been alleviated. In the dream, I felt that it… would not be forever. The severe pain has passed, so it naturally brings me less fear. And the ‘Xuwang’ thing, it hasn’t come yet… I haven’t seen it coming. I will think about it coming, not about it leaving.”

(End of this chapter)