Chapter 5217 (five thousand two hundred and seventeen)

The Gray Hand said, “You are right. Sometimes, when you are fearless, you will not provoke. Provoking others will not reduce your fear, right?”

“Yes, it cannot be alleviated, but…but at that time I felt that those provocative words…seemed to be in my favor.” said the man.

“You think it’s good enough as long as you can get the other party’s attention?” asked the man with gray hands.

The man said, “You can…you can say that.”

The Gray Hand asked again: “What did you say next?”

“I said I’m not a coward, and I also said… I also said let me go, kill me… let me go, kill me… it’s all fine, just don’t let it be like that time.” said the man.

“Don’t let anyone pay attention to you like that, okay?” said the man with gray hands.

“That’s right.” said the man.

Gray Hands remembered that the man before him would take a breath and pause after almost every sentence he shouted, as if he would run out of breath if he continued shouting. Wanting to know more about the situation at that time, Gray Hands asked the man: “Do you feel tired when you shout?”

“Tired…tired!” the man said, “I feel more and more tired the more I shout…it’s like…I can’t catch my breath.”

“Do you feel that you don’t have enough energy?” asked the man with gray hands.

“That’s right! That’s it.” the man replied.

“But you had to keep shouting?” the Gray Hand asked. “Yes… yes… at that time… I just wanted to keep shouting.” the man said.

“You think that will get them to pay attention to you?” the Gray Hand asked.

“I don’t know,” the man said. “I… I’m not even sure if shouting like that… can alleviate my fear.”

The Gray Hand said, “Actually, one of the important reasons you shouted like that was that you wanted to alleviate your fear?”

“Yes, yes… Although I didn’t feel that my fear was really relieved when I shouted before, but… But I still think I should shout.” The man said, “I think this way, maybe… maybe it’s because… only if I shout will someone pay attention to me? If someone pays attention to me, I may not continue to endure… the darkness and coldness in that place? Of course… It’s also possible that I think my voice itself… can relieve my fear.”

“The sound itself?” asked the Gray Hand.

“It’s just that I might think so… but… whether it is true or not, I can’t really say for sure.” The man said, “I think… maybe at that time, I just wanted… to hear my own voice? After all… when I hear my own voice, I will feel that I am still… alive… especially… when I hear other voices saying that I am a ghost. When I hear the sound of my own voice, I will… feel that I am still… a living person.”

“Didn’t your previous experiences make you believe that ghosts can speak now?” asked the man with gray hands.

“Actually… I also thought at that time… maybe… ghosts can also speak.” said the man.

“Then why does your own voice make you think you are still alive?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“I don’t know the reason either.” The man said, “I think… some of my thoughts… are actually… very contradictory. Thinking about it now, I really feel it’s contradictory… but… but at that time, maybe because I didn’t think so much, I didn’t… feel that it was contradictory.”

(End of this chapter)