Chapter 5184 (Five Thousand One Hundred and Eighty-Four) Morning

“Why is it different?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“Because… I… no longer have the same hope of living as I did a moment ago… When I have no hope… my thoughts… become different.” said the man.

“What’s your reaction?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“I just…I just want to ask…why did it become like this?” the man asked again.

“Anyone answer?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“Still nothing.” said the man.

“And then?” Gray Hand asked, “Do you have any other reaction?”

“I… I said something else.” The man said, “I said… let me die. Give me… a real ending. I want a clean… ending. I don’t… want… an ending like this. This… can’t be… my ending.”

“Were you already worried that your end would be to stay in that cold and dark place forever?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“Yes.” The man said, “I think… this… this seems to be the most terrible ending… much more terrible than dying directly.”

“What did you see when you said these words?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“What kind of thing?” the man asked.

“Have you noticed any changes in people in the spring?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“No.” The man said, “Those people…are still the same…blurry…I can’t see them clearly either.”

“So what happened to you?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“I’m saying… instead of procrastinating, it would be better to… end my life sooner rather than later.” said the man.

“Did you really think so when you said that?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“Yes, it is absolutely true,” said the man.

“What would you think if someone came and ended your life right after you said this?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“According to my mentality at that time, I… I would think it was very good… very suitable.” said the man.

“Not worried at all?” the Gray Hand Man asked. “No worries,” the man said.

“Aren’t you afraid?” asked the man with gray hands.

“I’m not afraid.” The man said, “I’m afraid… just to stay… in the same place… in the same place… in the cold and darkness…”

“Did you see any changes after you said this?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“I didn’t see it.” said the man.

“What’s next?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“I’m just saying… I… don’t want… this, no.” said the man.

“Don’t stay where you are in the cold and darkness?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“Yes.” said the man.

“No one pays attention to you even after you say this?” asked the man with gray hands.

“Yes.” The man said, “Still…no.”

“What happened next?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“I said… I said I shouted, and saw if anyone could hear me. I asked… if there was still daytime. I said in a very loud voice… I can’t live forever… in that kind of place! No! Absolutely not.” said the man.

“Has anything changed after saying this?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“Yes.” said the man.

“Is this the change you expected?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“No…” the man said, “It’s much worse than the expected change.”

“What happened?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“I have been floating in the air the whole time. After I said that, I found myself… sinking a little bit.” said the man.

(End of this chapter)