Chapter 5181 (five thousand one hundred and eighty-one) Difficult

“What’s next?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“For the next period of time, I…didn’t say much.” The man said, “It was getting colder and colder.”

“Is it more painful?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“Yes…it’s getting more and more painful.” said the man.

“It’s easy to overthink when no one is talking, right?” asked the man with gray hands.

“Yes,” the man said, “Later, I found that when I saw those people in the spring… my pain… seemed to deepen.”

The Gray Hand asked, “Why?”

“Because… looking at the situation there, and thinking about how dark and cold it is here… I… feel more and more sad.” said the man.

“But you still don’t talk to them?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“Yes, at this time… I still haven’t said it.” said the man.

“What are you worried about?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“Gradually… I’m becoming more and more worried that I really may not live much longer.” said the man.

“In that case, shouldn’t you say what you want to say?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“I don’t want to say it…” the man said, “Actually… it’s more than just not wanting to.”

“What else?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“Also… I’m worried that when I speak again… I might be restricted.” The man suddenly said.

“What kind of restrictions?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“For example… when I want to speak… I find it difficult to even open my mouth…” said the man.

“Wasn’t it very smooth to open your mouth before?” asked the man with gray hands.

The man said, “It went very smoothly.”

“You weren’t worried about not being able to open your mouth at that time, were you?” the Gray Hands asked. “Yes,” the man said, “At that time… I wasn’t worried.”

“Why is it different now?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“Because… so much time has passed… I’m scared…” said the man.

“You’ll know whether you can speak or not if you try,” asked the man with gray hands.

“Yes.” The man said, “So… later I tried it.”

“Did the process go smoothly?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“It wasn’t smooth sailing,” the man said.

“Is it really difficult for you to open your mouth?” asked the man with gray hands.

“No.” The man said, “But…it’s not hard to actually open my mouth…but…but at that moment, it was hard for my heart to open its mouth…”

“What do you mean?” asked the Gray Hand Man.

“I’ve thought of dying quickly.” The man said, “When… when a person wants to die quickly… it seems difficult for that person to open his mouth.”

The Gray Hands still didn’t understand what the other person meant, so he asked, “Because you want to die, you don’t want to say anything more?”

“I… I don’t know how to explain… the feeling I had at that time…” the man said, “Your explanation… is… okay.”

“That’s fine?” Gray Hand said, “To prove that you don’t really think that way?”

“Indeed… I don’t think so completely.” The man said, “But there are some things… I… I can’t explain them clearly. I even think… maybe it would be more dignified if I… didn’t say anything more… and just died there.”

“Are you thinking about face again?” asked the man with gray hands.

“Yes, as a Tiecang person… isn’t face… very important?” the man said.

The gray-handed man still didn’t quite understand it, and was so confused that he didn’t want to continue asking the question he had just asked.

(End of this chapter)