Chapter 60: Xiaoxue (Part )

However, no matter how pleasant and peaceful the cat’s purring was, Wang Jie could never be cured.

After the doctor’s examination, Wang Xichen also examined him repeatedly and the results were the same – Wang Jie’s other injuries could still be healed, but his right hand could no longer hold a pen.

Should I go to the government and complain? How could I? This case was handled by the emperor’s order. How could the emperor be wrong? The fact that the case was handled with a blank paper was the truth. Therefore, this was not an unjust accusation or an accidental injury. On the contrary, this was a great discretionary favor. If I dared to be “greedy and dissatisfied” again, this “favor” would be taken back immediately, and even the kind-hearted people who helped would be implicated.

Looking at the pale-faced Wang Xipu, Wang Xirui said in a low and slow voice: “I have already sounded out the situation, and it turns out that I can’t take the exam again…”

The Third Wife’s eyelashes trembled, but she did not cry anymore. Her eyes were like a dead lake that had dried up and the bottom was visible.

Shuyi tearfully told Wang Jie to take good rest, and helped her mother, who was as thin as paper, back to her room to talk. The eldest wife and her mother-in-law also went over to comfort her.

Wang Xipu turned away in despair. Seeing that Wang Jie refused to speak, Wang Xirui and Wang Xichen had no choice but to leave first. They invited Zhan Mei, who had helped a lot this time, to go to the study to talk.

It is said in the Collection of Explanations of the Monthly Ordinances: [Light Snow, the first sign of the season, rainbows disappear] – meaning that with the arrival of the Light Snow solar term, the temperature drops and the sky and the earth no longer have the conditions for the formation of rainbows.

This seems to fit Wang Jie’s situation.

He fought hard to win the title of Juren in the not-so-fair examination room, but lost everything in this “too fair” examination room.

Fortunately, he was rescued from prison, but all that left was this broken body.

“Second sister, I have no regrets, but I do have complaints…”

This was almost the first complete sentence Wang Jie uttered. The words of this young man who never dared to slack off and never complained were hoarse and vague at this moment, and even his resentment seemed to be rootless and floating without a destination.

Two days later, a tear rolled down Wang Jie’s red eyes. He closed his eyes tremblingly and said, “Second sister, this world is too bitter.”

Just last night, the third wife hanged herself.

This woman, who had been striving for dignity all her life, ultimately chose such an inglorious way to die.

Juzi witnessed the scene. The third wife had loose hair mixed with white, and her white old clothes were hanging on her body. Her thin body was hanging under the old beam, and her deformed feet were hanging in the old hall.

When Shuyi arrived, she let out a sad cry and then fainted.

Everyone knows why the third wife died. She has always pinned her hopes on her husband and children for her dignity. But now her husband has no hope of getting his job back, her daughter has difficulty getting pregnant in her husband’s family, and her son can no longer take the imperial examination. All her hopes have been shattered by reality without exception.

However, only Juzi knew that there might be another reason behind the Third Madam’s suicide – when raising money to rescue Wang Jie from prison, the Third Wife and her husband had a private argument. The Third Madam discovered that there was an discrepancy in the expenses of her husband over the years. Under the questioning of his wife and the pressure of the current situation, Wang Xipu bluntly said that he had another son, and said that now that things had come to this, he planned to take the child home to raise him.

The child was born when Wang Xipu was sent out to serve as a county magistrate, and is now over ten years old.

That night, Juzi watched from afar the shadow of the Third Wife standing by the window for a long time. The night wind blew the window paper, and the shadow pulled and swayed, as if it had overlapped with the Third Wife hanging under the beam in advance.

Amidst the crying, Zhenyi’s vision was always blurry and hazy, as if covered by a layer of spider web.

Zhenyi, dressed in plain white, stood under the eaves, looking up at the spider web hanging under the eaves through the “spider web” covering her eyes.

When Zhenyi was 18 years old, she visited her teacher who was on his deathbed in Jilin, the end of her journey of thousands of miles. After reading Wanyu’s letter, she looked up and saw a spider web. Later, when her second brother, who failed the imperial examination, chose to avoid Wanyu’s feelings, Zhenyi also saw a spider web covered by cold dew.

At that time, Zhenyi was thinking that everyone is like dust, fate is like a spider web, personal future, family honor and disgrace, marriage, are all weighed on one thin spider silk after another… Are such “rules” also among the truths of heaven and earth?
At this moment, Zhenyi watched the already tattered spider web under the eaves as the cold wind blew, the spider silk broke, and the dust clinging to it fell down.

The young man’s gray hair was also falling in wisps.

Zhan Mei stood outside the Buddhist temple, looking at Wang Jie who was kneeling inside the temple and getting his hair shaved.

In the year of Xiaoxue, Zhenyi lost her second brother, and a young monk named Kongwu appeared in the Qixia Temple in Jinling City.

The dust falling from the spider web and the gray hair shaved off in the Buddhist temple remained in Zhenyi’s heart for a long time.

Zhenyi often wondered, those creatures that tried hard to swim and cling to the spider web would eventually fall. Was it because they were not trying hard enough?

The wind that blows away the spider web comes from the solar terms of heaven and earth. Where does the wind that destroys a person’s future come from? Why does it exist?

Zhenyi was destined to find it difficult to get out of such a shock intact. After Wang Jie said, “Second sister, this world is too bitter,” he said another sentence:
[But there are so many people in this world who suffer far more than I do. ]

He also said: [Second sister, I see that most people’s faces are blurry, but yours is the only one that is still so clear…]

Therefore, he held back his tears and almost reluctantly told her: [Second sister, take care of yourself.]

Although these words may sound vague to others, Juzi heard them very clearly. Juzi had known from earlier that Zhenyi was too clear and distinct to fit in with this muddled world.

Zhenyi, who had not had a good rest for many days, fell ill. The high fever for several days made Juzi confused. He stayed by Zhenyi’s side and used his paw to check the temperature of Zhenyi’s forehead day and night.

The nine-year-old Jingyi did not dare to leave her elder sister. She learned to take care of her sick elder sister just as her elder sister took care of her on weekdays. Zhenyi was trapped in nightmares one after another. The high walls that appeared in her dreams when she was young reappeared in a clearer and harder form. Compared with the despair and fear in her childhood, Zhenyi in her dreams now had more sorrow and anger. Her grandfather, mother, mother, third aunt, second brother… familiar faces disappeared in those high walls, leaving only endless darkness intertwined.

Whenever Zhenyi was trapped and unable to breathe, it was the soft warmth from her palm and the gentle cool touch on her forehead that brought her back to consciousness. It was Jingyi’s little hand, Orange’s soft claws.

On the fourth day, Zhenyi’s fever subsided and she became more sober, but her spirit had not improved at all. She spoke very little and could hardly eat anything.

This went on for more than ten days. Seeing Zhenyi getting thinner day by day, Juzi became extremely anxious and often punched Wang Xichen to wake him up at night, urging him to prepare the medicine.

Late at night, Wang Xichen, who had not been able to fall asleep, sat up and sighed to himself: “Zhen’er’s heart disease is more serious.”

I don’t know when a light snow started falling outside the window, covering the courtyard with a thin layer of silvery and translucent snow.

The next day, the snow became heavier and the snow accumulated like a cocoon, layering and interweaving, becoming thicker and thicker.

In the afternoon, Jingyi, feeling tired and restless, snuggled up to her sister and slept for a while. When she woke up, she suddenly burst into tears, probably because she had a nightmare.

On the sickbed, Zhenyi hugged her crying sister and comforted her with her hoarse voice.

Orange, who was dozing off by the stove – or rather, supervising the boiling of medicine in the stove and taking a rest with his eyes closed – heard the noise and ran in, jumping onto the bed.

Zhenyi gently stroked her sister’s head which was soaked with cold sweat, and a cat’s paw fell on Zhenyi’s shoulder, gently stroking and comforting her.

Zhenyi raised her eyes and met Mao’er’s round face full of concern and comfort.

Zhenyi, who was in a trance due to her illness, suddenly had the illusion that she had returned to her childhood. No matter how old she was, Juzi seemed to always treat her like a child and coax and take care of her.

Zhenyi’s eyes were suddenly filled with tears.

At this time, Zhu Shuangjing came in from outside carrying a clay pot of hot porridge: “Everyone sit up and eat some while it’s hot!”

“Thank you, sister-in-law.” Zhenyi held back her tears and looked at her sister-in-law who was serving porridge. She then heard the faint sounds of Wang Yuan and others talking and walking outside.

Wang Yuan seemed to be ordering Qisheng to move something: “Move everything to the yard and burn it all!”

This is the second house’s courtyard after all. Zhenyi was puzzled and asked subconsciously: “Sister-in-law, are my brother and the others…”

Zhu Shuangjing took Jingyi down from the couch and asked her to sit at the small table to eat porridge. When Chun’er was putting clothes on Jingyi, Zhu Shuangjing brought a bowl of porridge to the couch and sat down to feed Zhenyi, saying nonchalantly, “It’s because my second sister’s illness hasn’t healed yet. Yesterday, I invited a Feng Shui master to our house. He said that my second sister was possessed by some evil spirit and her mind was damaged… I have to burn all my sister’s manuscripts and travel notes in the past before I can rest in peace!”

“Although I don’t know if it’s useful, let them burn it. It’s just some waste paper, and I haven’t read it for a long time!” Zhu Shuangjing said, scraping the edge of the bowl with a spoon to scoop a spoonful of warm and salty porridge, and handed it to Zhenyi: “Come, let’s eat ours.”

Zhenyi suddenly threw back the quilt, got off the bed, hurriedly put on her embroidered shoes, and ran out quickly.

Orange was one step faster, howling and cursing, with his tail raised high, and bursting out like a yellow cannonball.

Wang Yuan and his companions moved quickly and had carried out quite a few boxes and cages. They temporarily cleared a space in the snow in the yard, lit a brazier, and Wang Yuan had already thrown a stack of manuscript paper into the fire.

Orange knocked Wang Yuan, who was squatting, so hard that he fell into the snow with a cry, and reached into the brazier with his cat claws.

Zhenyi snatched the stack of poetry books from Qisheng’s hand, holding half in her arms and scattering the other half at her feet. She shouted anxiously, “Put them down, put them all down! No one is allowed to burn them!”

Wang Yuan, who was sitting in the snow, did not rush to get up. He sat there, patted the snow particles on his hands, and looked at his second sister in front of him who was in a state of intense emotion but finally showed some breath of life. Wang Yuan let out a sigh of relief and a few tears came out of the corners of his eyes.

When Zhenyi met her elder brother’s eyes, which now had a few more lines on them, she suddenly understood something.

Zhu Shuangjing followed and tied a thick fur coat on Zhenyi while saying, “Don’t be afraid, it won’t burn, it won’t burn, ah.”

Zhenyi, with her black hair spread out, stood in the snow, holding the poetry collection, looking at her brother and sister-in-law, then at her father standing in the corridor, and Jingyi who pounced on the brazier and dug out the manuscript paper in the brazier like another kitten.

Hot tears suddenly rolled out of Zhenyi’s eyes.

Zhan Mei left two days ago. He had an emergency at home and needed to rush back to Xuancheng. Zhenyi was unable to see him off, so he asked Jingyi to bring a message to Zhenyi. At this moment, the message suddenly rang in Zhenyi’s mind: [Our original intentions will not fade with age, and we will always be like young people. ]

“Sister, it’s blank manuscript paper!” Jingyi raised her dirty little hand, holding the half-burned blank manuscript paper.

Orange’s paws and face were also covered in dust, and he punched Wang Yuan twice – if it was real, it would make the cat angry, so he deserved a beating! If it was fake, it would deceive the cat, so he also deserved a beating!
Zhenyi’s gaze followed the blank manuscript paper flying out of the brazier and burning in the snow, and then watched the ashes rising and floating upwards in the wind and snow.

Zhenyi finally looked up at the snowy sky. Her eyes seemed to penetrate the endless darkness and see the vast starry sky hidden behind it.

Dust can chase the stars and the moon, and fire can be burned in the snow.

There was a flickering fire reflected in Zhenyi’s eyes, and that fire burned into her bones and blood, burning away her depression and forging her determination.